jim_p

First they came for the Communists
And I cheered them on because Commies are evil!
Then they came for the Socialists
And I cheered them on because I'm sick of my tax dollars going to the lazy
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I cheered them on because I don't need a stinking union costing me dues
Then they came for the Jews
And I cheered them on because finally they will no longer replace us
Then they... wait... they're coming for me?!
No! Wait! It wasn't supposed to happen that way!
All I wanted was cheaper eggs
And filthy brown people hauled off in chains
And liberals crying sweet liberal tears
And everyone forced to kneel to Republican Jesus
They weren't supposed to hurt me, just all those other folks who deserved it
Where are you taking me?

Looks like I'm going to be hanging out here a lot more, especially once I re-build my network. I have been on the Book of Face for a very long time, built up quite a network there, and it was the main way I kept up with my social circle. Even before Zuck announced that he was ditching the fact-checkers I had been less and less patient with what was showing up in my feed... more ads, more communities I'd never joined or wanted to join, and far fewer posts from actual friends. The enshittification over there has reached a tipping point where I'm looking elsewhere. I gave bluesky a try, but it is just not set up for the kinds of discussions I liked to have on Facebook (I never took much to Xitter either).

So anyhow, nice to see everyone again! Stay in touch!

So my day job let me go today. Actually, they let just about everyone go. Their funding fell through and they were out of runway, so they let go of all but a skeleton crew whose job it is to bundle the technology for sale.

So now I'm at a crossroads: do I look for another day job, or do I double down on the framing business? Right now the frame shop is not-quite breaking even; in good months it makes a little money, in bad months it costs me money. That's why I *had* a day job in the first place.

At the same time, not having a day job will free me up to devote 100% of my energies to the business… if I can figure out how to do a few things better, we might just have a chance. I'd really rather make the frame shop successful than go back to work.

On the gripping hand, my day job let me go VERY suddenly and with no severance. Just a final paycheck, and another one for accrued vacation time. I don't have much to fall back on while I head down my own runway in my own business…

So I'm keeping my feelers out there for employment. My background is in Unix and Linux internals, though quite frankly I'm sufficiently long in the tooth and out of the loop that I'm not sure that represents my core competency anymore. These days the best things I bring to the table are years of industry experience and a bit of business sense from running my own shop (not to mention some late-blooming people skills). I might be interested in a more managerial position if anyone would be willing to take a flyer on me…

If anyone knows of anything, let me know.

In the meantime if you'd been thinking of getting something framed now would, uh, be a REALLY good time to do so!

Or, why I *still* HTFP.

I graduated from MIT 30 years ago. Naturally, I'm getting all kinds of cards and letters inviting me to come back for the reunion and give generously to the Institute.

My time at MIT was bittersweet, with the emphasis on the bitter. I haven't really been back much, either in body or in spirit. I never felt a part of the place when I was there, and I don't really feel much a part of it now. My wife, who flunked out of Wellesley feels more attachment to her alma mater than I do to mine. I never got a Brass Rat. Gold had hit an all-time high in 1984, and the Rat is ugly enough as it is; it's doubleplus ugly in base metal. I've never felt a need to go back and get one.

There were two major things while I was there that really soured my experience. The first was social isolation. I was a weird kid. Really weird. Now that I look back on it, I realize I was really REALLY weird. Having Aspergers was bad enough... there's a lot of that at MIT. For me, compounding that was a seriously warped sense of how people get along and interact with each other. Bullying left me scarred and paranoid; who knows when my new "friend" will turn on me and stab me in the back? Growing up deeply steeped in "guess culture" had me searching out hidden agendas where there were none. I felt I couldn't trust anyone to be straight with me, and I in turn wasn't straight with others. Having parents who prided themselves in how they held themselves apart from "mainstream pop culture" left me with very little in common with the rest of the world (I believe their social sensibilities were trapped in amber back around 1949...).

When I was accepted to MIT, I thought I'd come "home". I thought the place would be filled with weird, folks, nerdy folks, dorky folks, folks Just Like Me. I was disappointed to find that, relative to me, MIT folks were positively *mainstream*, and somewhat hostile to "nerds". THAT is how off-the-charts Weird I was, and how badly I was mismatched to the folks around me.

So there was social alienation... and then there was institutional alienation. It is said that getting an education at MIT is like trying to take a drink from a firehose. This is held out as a Good Thing: there is so much learning available in such volume and speed that it's impossible to take it all in.

Recently I came to another realization. A "firehose" takes on another name when it's trained on people. It's called a "water cannon" and its purpose is to repel undesirables. To rid an area of unwanted trespassers. To send the clear message to Stay Away.

I was typical at MIT in one way: I had developed no study habits in public school because it all came so easily to me. I could get Bs in my sleep and As with a little effort. I struggled mightily with my classes. Since I had grown up believing that my worth as a human being was directly tied to my grades and success in class, I felt like my whole sense of self-worth was shot out from under me. I didn't seek help for two reasons: first, I felt like I was such a pathetic unworthy putz that I wasn't even worthy to darken the doors of the professors or TAs. Second, and I didn't figure this out until much later, in many cases I was SO confused I didn't even know which QUESTIONS to ask, never mind anything else. (I had the same feelings when I worked for a well-known edge networking company that's heavy with MIT folks...)

I remember at one of the gatherings during freshmen orientation, one of the speakers said "Look to your left, look to your right. One of you won't graduate".

The takeaway that I got from all this was "You're not wanted here". The firehose was bowling me over. I felt like the Institute was TRYING to weed out the weak ones so as to make room for the "deserving". Which, of course, made me borderline-undeserving. I never sought out "interesting" research or project opportunities; I figured the researcher in charge would check out my grades and then go "Why should I bother with the likes of YOU?" I was KEENLY aware of anything that reinforced this attitude. I was talking to a friend about maybe taking a "fun" astronomy class. He said "Yeah, if you've gotten all As and Bs so far I'm sure your advisor would sign off on that". Having just gotten a "D" in 6.002, I instead crawled back under my rock.

I felt that I in my misery was invisible to the Institute. There was plenty enough grumbling in "The Tech" (the student newspaper at the time) but "Tech Talk", the Institute paper, was all happy news all the time. This researcher got a fellowship. That professor got a Nobel. Look how wonderful we are to the community. Nary a peep about those who might be struggling.

The ultimate insult? No handshake at graduation. Here it was, after struggling mightily against my inner demons and the Institute's indifference, I manage to graduate by the skin of my teeth. Still, GPA doesn't matter when claiming one's diploma. I could walk that stage as proudly as any of my classmates. In our graduation instructions we were specifically instructed NOT to try and shake the President's hand. I suppose this may have been some time-and-motion expert's way of making sure things moved along, but now that I look back on it it may a well have been a slap in the face. "Here, here's your lousy piece of paper, now don't let the door hit your ass on the way out". The ONE time that the Institute could have put a human touch to their otherwise indifferent attitude, and they blew it.

My wife went on to get a bachelor's degree from Clark and a master's from Lesley. Both times she got a handshake. I saw video of a recent MIT commencement. Looks like they're getting handshakes now, too.

Where's my handshake? Do I get one merely for the fact that I've survived the place, or do I have to "buy" one through a "generous donation"?

They never cared about me then. Why should I care about them now?

Join us this weekend for Natick Artists Open Studios! Saturday, October 19 and Sunday, October 20 from noon to 5PM!

My business, Baldwin Hill Art & Framing, is proud to participate in this annual event. Once again our featured artist is Tamu, who will be showing works in a variety of media (she once had a solo show, and I overheard someone at the reception asking "Are all the artists going to be here tonight?" She's that eclectic!)

For those who have been to my shop before, be aware that we have moved to a new location. It's only about a block and a half from the old shop, but it's light-years better in terms of windows, light, access, and ceiling height. The new location is at 8 Court Street in downtown Natick, just off Main Street and across from the Middlesex Savings Bank side entrance. We're also just a hop from the Natick commuter rail station and parking is free on Sunday!

In other news: my business is in the process of raising money for needed improvements. Details are here but basically our move to the new location has increased visibility and demand, and some of our existing equipment is not up to the workload. The beauty of this fundraiser is that if you donate $50 or more you receive a gift card to our shop in the amount of your donation! If you've ever been "thinking about getting something framed someday" now would be a great time to get a gift card, show your support, and help us to the next level!

Well, my kickstarter ends tomorrow and it looks like it's within striking distance of its goal! Care to help push us over the top? I'm boundlessly optimistic that we'll make it :)  Spread the word!

Well, my kickstarter did not reach its funding goal. As the final days wound down and it became apparent despite every hope that I would not make it, I was brought back to my days in the high school marching band playing at football games. It seems no matter how bad things got, the cheerleaders never let up. I mean, we're talking being down 35-3, 4th-and-9 on your own 40 yard line with one minute left to play, and the cheerleaders chanting "That's alright/That's okay/We're gonna win it/Anyway!". I wanted to roll my eyes and shout "Give it a rest already!"

At what point to do you look at the trend line and decide "Chances are we're NOT going to win this, and it's time to plan accordingly"?

IS there such a thing as a cheer for "We're gonna lose, but with dignity"?

This is one of the things that brought down Curt Schilling's company, BTW. From his baseball days he was of the mind-set that you don't give up even when you're down to your final out and it looks hopeless. Who knows, your next three batters might all hit home runs and you could pull it off anyway! This is why he never prepared himself *or* his employees for the possibility of the company going under -- there was always one more hope, one more miracle, one more trick that could let them land on their feet.

Is this EVER a good attitude to take outside of sports?

(BTW - I'm going to relaunch a modified kickstarter; watch this space for details!)

Baldwin Hill Art & Framing is proud to have works by the artist and illustrator Richard M. Powers in our gallery (Boston-area) for the month of June. Reception is Friday June 1 from 5-9PM. Directions here.

Those of you who collect science fiction books would recognize his work in the book covers of the 50s and 60s. Richard Powers pioneered a surrealistic style that became the standard for SF covers in those decades. What you may not know is that he was very prolific and eclectic throughout his long career. He produced paintings and illustrations in quite a variety of styles both for commissions and for his own artistic enjoyment. This exhibit will feature a number of works from the Powers estate. The artist's daughter, Kathy Powers Sherry, will be in attendance at the reception to share memories of life with her father.

Feel free to share this invitation with anyone who might be interested!

--jim

Is there a succinct term to describe the act of making excuses in order to achieve a particular outcome? A classic example of what I'm talking about is drug-seeking behavior in the emergency room: "I need painkillers. I need $GOODSTUFF. No, no, I'm allergic to $SUBSTITUTE1, I really need $GOODSTUFF. No, $SUBSTITUTE2 didn't work last time I REALLY need $GOODSTUFF..."

I've been dealing with this sort of thing in other contexts lately...